Oberwiki in the News

[edit] Real publications

As far as I know, Oberwiki's not been mentioned in any real news sources. Even the Review. It's just gotten a few links on various Oberlin-related pages, as well as on sites that just take content from Wikipedia. My favorite reference, however, is this thread on CollegeConfidential.com.

[edit] The Grape

This is the basis for an article that appeared in the Grape just after Oberwiki was first launched. About a month later, all of the content was lost in a terrible hardware failure, and since then, a few details of campus life have changed.

The capacity for tracking living cells and phenotypic complementation of null mutants with Oberwiki is nearly limitless, especially if you actually know what all those things are. Actually, if you know what all those things are, you probably realize that they have utterly nothing to do with Oberwiki — however, if you know what all those things are, chances are good that you’ve got nothing better to do on a Saturday night than logging on to http://oberwiki.net and experiencing for yourself what critics are calling "some sort of Wikipedia rip-off — except, like, for Oberlin."

A Wiki, as described by creator Ward Cunningham, is "the simplest online database that could possibly work." [1] Wikis come in many shapes and sizes, from the gargantuan "open-encyclopedia" Wikipedia to Oberlin's very own Oberwiki. While a list of facts about Oberlin may seem like old hat (boring old hat) to the many among us who have gone through freshman orientation, Oberwiki’s unique charm (and potential for mayhem) lies in its editing functionality. True to Oberlin ideals of open dialogue, Oberwiki entries can be edited by anyone, at any time, for any reason.

For instance, amidst entries of various detail and flattery describing such campus fixtures as Nancy Dye, Kim Lafond, and Charles McGuire, you’ll also find an entry for New Jersey, describing the state as "Not currently enrolled. Member of a cappella grindcore band Florrid Porpise." And if you think that’s weird, you should try actually reading the current entry for Nancy Dye. [2]

In the interest of giving you some idea of the cotton-candy wonderland of information available on this miraculous website, let’s take a look at a few more entries. Where else but Oberwiki can you learn that "He's a Nobel prize-winning devious ex-con from the 'hood;" whereas "she's a brilliant tempestuous opera singer who don't take no shit from nobody." The conclusion that, together, "they fight crime!" is so counterintuitive as to seem totally fictitious — unless, that is, you’ve read the entry for "They Fight Crime!," brought to you by your friendly neighborhood Oberwiki. [3]

Among the subjects of the other 1,443 (figure accurate at press time) articles awaiting discovery by any intrepid explorers daring enough to plumb the depths of Oberwiki are such gems as: "pomo", "failure to launch", "Brothers Jim & Jed", "Ronald Reagan" [4], and "Does Jake Brody really huff mad dong? What does that mean, anyway?" The answer to this, and dozens of other such seminal questions of the ages, can finally be answered. One Amazon.com reviewer says, "I found it comforting and informative at a critical time in my life." [8]

Almost as if he realized that these features alone weren’t enough to soundly vanquish any hopes that you might have had of completing any classes this semester, Oberwiki’s diabolical creator Alxndr has included the option to view only the most recent OberWiki entries — so you never have to miss an update. Still not satisfied, he applied his coup de grace: a random entry button, so that you can be sure of entertainment without even needing a clear conception of your own desires. Sure beats googling "paris hilton sex video" again, doesn’t it? [Wikist's note: these are both default functions of the free MediaWiki software that Oberwiki uses. Joe and Walker obviously have a top-notch research team working for them. --Alxndr]

Rumor and legend have it that Oberwiki is actually served from an aging Gateway PC — a PC that doesn’t even have Windows installed on it. Oberwiki is brought to you by an install of Slackware Linux version 9.1, and may or may not be powered solely by a thousand hamsters running on a thousand hamster wheels, trying to tap the complete works of Shakespeare in Morse code with their footsies. The socialist implications of this slight against The Man are echoed in Oberwiki’s general philosophy of free information, free love, free Tibet, Freemasonry, free blind mice and general subversion.

While Oberwiki may not yet afford the estimated tens of quadrillions of articles currently hosted on its mack daddy, Wikipedia, such illustrious heights can only be achieved through the dedicated Wikification of each and every patriotic Oberlin student. And really, how can you turn down the opportunity to spread rumors and fabrications by editing the entries of your friends? The chance to accuse your roommate of having "communist-given super powers" or "growing psychedelic popsicles in his underwear drawer" — both liberties gleefully taken by the co-authors of this article — only come once in a lifetime (or twice if you’ve already given said roommate an entry in Wikipedia too).

Oberwiki will be bigger than Jesus [17] because it is not just a repository for gratuitously flattering self-indulgent descriptions of ourselves (ObieMatch and Facebook), not just a database for opinions and rumors about our faculty (ratemyprofessor.com), not just a website for faux-pomo nonsense about your a capella grindcore band — it’s a place where all these things can flourish together, and be edited and re-edited by all. Check it out.

Footnotes:

[1] http://wiki.org/wiki.cgi?WhatIsWiki

[2] As this article goes to press, Nancy Dye is described as "The President of Oberlin College. Has been quoted as saying it is her 'dream' to turn Oberlin College into an 'athletics powerhouse.' What's wrong with the lesbian compund [sic] anyway?"

[3] Okay, fine, so we made that Oberwiki article just so we could talk about it in this article. But the point is, the potential was there! Now it’s a kinetic article, but it's ALWAYS been a potential article!

[4] Great orator and progenitor of such quotes as "My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes" and "Facts are stupid things" — both quotes which could easily apply to Kim Lafond, who also has an Oberwiki entry! Man, this is starting to creep me out a little bit here.

[8] note — this reviewer may in fact have been speaking of "B.O.O.B.S: A Bunch of Outrageous Breast Cancer Survivors Tell Their Stories of Courage, Hope, and Healing"

[17] Estimated height of all printed pages of Oberwiki by end of semester: 7'4". Estimated height of Jesus of Nazareth: 5'11".