Kalan Sherrard

Kalan Sherrard ('10) is a controversial figure known for his eccentricity, as well as his love of art and literature and his involvement in both contra-dancing [*i was actually never involved in contra dancing at oberlin] and guerrilla street theater. Kalan and his friends were embroiled in controversy when they put on a performance in front of Mudd in Fall 2008 that entailed vomiting recently-eaten beets. He has lived and dined in both Harkness and Tank, and was also in Kosher Halal coop.

In Spring 2009, Kalan was member of Student Senate. He also unsuccessfully ran for Class Trustee.

On September 28, 2009 Jon Stewart called him "violently rhythmic" and a "jackass" on the Daily Show for his protest at the recent Pittsburgh G20 summit, showing footage of Kalan prancing around in a cow outfit in an attempt to disrupt riot police activity. As of January 2011, Kalan is still awaiting trial for charges issued against him at the G20 summit.

In September 2011 he appeared in an interview on The Colbert Report during the occupy Wall Street riots. Stephen Colbert bequeaths him with the title: a "nut job in a burlap sack with a squirrel hat and goggles that does performance art and nihilistic puppet shows in the subway." Kalan confesses to not have 'any hope anymore for the future of the world.'

A sentiment furthered by his stardom as cover model for New York Magazine's October 2011 issue. In his cover photo he sports body commentary (written on tape and stuck to his clothing) reading,"Sucks to be us" (his words were originally "our economy is a cancer," but NY magazine edited over them).

He's also slowly getting famous in the Spanish-speaking world, as he gave an interview to Univision in October 2011. But, they mis-represented him as "Clayton Schrarad." Kalan's fluency in Spanish is of a level that if you were in OSCA, you could converse with him in Spanish during lunch and the Hispanic Studies department accepted his signature for attending language table.

Beware of Kalan's dance moves. This year alone, 42 people collapsed in the Sco because of him. There were no survivors. Earjobs were given to the victims' families as recompense.

Kalan graduated from Oberlin in Spring 2010. He appeared on the Commencement stage wearing ski googles, paint-stained overalls over his bare chest, and an American flag as a cape. He has vowed Obies haven't seen the last of him, and indeed visited campus for a few weeks in Fall 2010. He will be returning for Jackfest in May 2011.