Professor of religion.
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"They fell into this wonderful shiny world of ours; sometimes it rains, which makes it worse."
"Relics are only useful if they're labeled; there are multiple heads of John the Baptist."
"If we have some people who are able to drive those vans, or are willing to get certified, we can go for a lot less — lots, L-O-T-S, in all capital letters, in a nice Gothic font."