Al Porterfield


Professor of psychology.


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"Wealth is not always a plus. Nonetheless I'd like to give it a try."

"What do women want? They want a penis. But they settle for a baby."

"Psychoanalysis has more lives than a cat."

"Show me a person without physiology and I'll show you a person without anything. [pause] Or I won't show you a person."

"Those of you who aren't here... umm... I don't know what to say to you."

during a discussion on the side effectsof psychoactive drugs: "Let's take tricyclic antidepressants — no, let's not take them...!"


"100% of everybody dies."

on phobias: "Well, Sarah said, 'but snakes and spiders move.' I think that's a real issue here; I mean, you don't usually worry about a tree sort of sneaking up on you, or popping out of a drawer when you open it."

"Going out in the cold inadequately dressed does not cause illness. There is no evidence. I don't care what your parents said."

"You're never more relaxed than when you're dead."

"I want you to think like a Freudian for a second. And only for a second, and then I want you to stop doing that. It's not good for you."

"Bob was a friend of mine in high school, in the Pleistocene Era."

"If you want to be bummed out, that's okay. You can be a philosopher and the whole bit."

"This is not something that's performed on the general population. It's not like we recruit Psych 100 students and say, 'come on up here for an angiography.' We've tried, and they don't show."

"Do you guys know those websites that post those crazy warning labels on products? I think my favorite is 'do not look directly into laser with remaining eye.'"

"This accounts for why twins react to a similar situation differently. For example, if you give two kids a set of books, one might read all of them. The other might stack them up to reach the vodka on the top shelf."


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